


Hope on Hope

by CapnShellhead



Category: Avengers: Age of Ultron - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Established Relationship, M/M, Marriage, Superfamily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 01:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15898335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnShellhead/pseuds/CapnShellhead
Summary: Steve and Tony try to balance taking care of their young son and being Avengers.It’s not easy.





	Hope on Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr: [post](https://capn-shellhead.tumblr.com/post/177091672133/stevetony-superfamly)
> 
> Title from the song I listened to on repeat during editing this, “Grace” by Florence + the Machine. 
> 
> Essentially, I imagined the “Language” line from AoU was because Steve had a potty mouth and Tony forbid him from swearing because of Peter.
> 
> Using for the free space on my Stevetony bingo card.

Three years in and Steve still doesn’t quite understand why Tony agreed to marry him.

He knew he wasn’t the easiest to deal with. He spent more time with Fury than his husband these days. He came home late and left early in the morning. He called Tony more times to reschedule than to actually chat with him.

Lord knows, adding a kid into the mix year two hadn’t been the wisest idea. But they hadn’t really had a choice; Peter needed a home and after the Battle of New York, perspective foster parents were wary of any kid that was even remotely enhanced. They hadn’t been able to find any relatives and Steve couldn’t leave him.

Tony had understood; he’d been just as adamant about taking Peter in. Steve remembered sitting in the social worker’s office, looking at Tony and realizing he’d yet to reach the depth of his love for this man.

These days, Tony felt more like a single parent and Steve an absent father. He hadn’t wanted things to turn out this way but, between the Avengers’ work and Fury’s retcon assignments, Steve was being pulled in every direction. Ending up everywhere but the place he wanted to be.

Home.

Now, Steve rode up in the elevator and rolled his neck. It was dark out, the Tower quiet as the others slumbered. Even Clint was down for the count and not watching trashy talk shows in the living room. Steve shuffled down the hall, making to go to their bedroom but a sudden urge struck him.

He was sure Tony had Peter down for the count. Tony didn’t often brag about his parenting skills but he’d proudly boasted about the fact that he’d mastered the art of putting their toddler to bed with minimal tears shed. Of course, he’d chalked it up to Peter being a good baby but he’d bragged about it quite a bit.

Steve smiled at the memory, pulling off his cowl as he entered Peter’s nursery. The walls were a light pale blue, almost no remnants of the charts and cork boards that used to line them. This had been Steve’s room, the closest to Tony’s. After they’d adopted Peter, they worked together to paint the walls, put together the baby furniture and fill the dresser and closet with clothes and toys. Books and games. Anything Peter might ever want; spoiling him to an extent that surprised even Tony in the end.

Steve had been so determined to do this right.

He approached the crib quietly, the unsettled feeling in his chest subsiding when his son came into view. At two years old, Peter still slept sprawled out on his back beneath the covers, his mouth wide open. Steve smiled, gazing down at him as his chest softly rose and fell. Curious, Steve pulled the blanket down an inch or two to get a better look at his pajamas. He took in the blue and white striped pants and the tiny shield on the shirt with a heavy heart.

He ran a tired hand over his face and watched Peter sleep soundly. He would have to head to his bedroom and climb into bed beside Tony, who was already fast asleep. It used to be, he’d have to fetch Tony from the lab and drag him to bed but, in the interest of keeping an ear out for Peter and keeping a reasonable sleep schedule, Tony conked out a few hours after Peter most nights.

Steve was missing his family’s lives.

He’d missed Peter’s first word and when he’d started crawling. He’d missed Peter’s first trip to the park and the first time he tasted ice cream. He’d missed the first time Peter met the Hulk and that had been terrifying to hear about secondhand. Apparently, Hulk had been just as startled, staring at Peter like he was just a particularly small human. Instead of yelling at Clint, which Bruce had been doing moments earlier, Hulk had settled down beside Peter, even rolling a ball back and forth long past when the Big Guy would have found it entertaining.

Tony had been here. He’d photographed and recorded everything. He’d tried to save some moments for Steve: making sure he had off when they threw Peter his second birthday party and kept Peter inside until Steve could watch the fireworks with them on his birthday. Tony, despite heaps of self-doubt, was an amazing father. He was dedicated, patient, loving and, most importantly, he was _here_. He made time for Peter and pushed everything else aside. He’d even taken a reserve member status and let Rhodey fill his place for the time being.

And where was Steve?

British Columbia. Berlin. Hanover. Lyon. London. Beijing.

Anywhere but here.

“If you wake him, I will make you sleep outside,” he heard. Steve smiled tiredly, wider as Tony’s arms wrapped around him from behind. “You okay?”

Steve nodded, petting Tony’s arms as he watched Peter sleep, a lump in his throat. Then he shook his head, his voice rough, “No.”

Tony pet him softly and turned him around to face him. Barefoot and wearing what must be Steve’s clothes, Tony was beautiful. The overly large shirt slipped down to reveal his left shoulder, his eyes bright and framed by dark, unfairly long lashes. He must be tired; Steve can see shadows beneath his eyes. Even so, he was alert, focused on Steve as he asked, “What is it? Did something happen?”

Steve shook his head, covering his face. Tony took his hand, squeezing it tight as Steve spoke. “I’m missing everything.” Tony was patient, waiting for him to go on. “I only see him when he’s asleep. I barely see you at all. I just,” he sighed, his voice strained. “I miss you.”

Tony squeezed his hand once more, pulling Steve into a hug and stroking his back. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He pulled back, a hesitant look on his face. “Steve… babe, we talked about this. We knew it would be hard when we adopted him.” Steve nodded, averting his eyes. Tony touched his cheek and Steve reluctantly met his gaze. “It was the choice we had to make. Something had to give. You chose work and I chose home.”

_No, I chose work and there was no other option,_ Steve corrected.

“I just wish there was something I could do,” he said and Tony nodding understandingly. Steve pulled away and sat down in the armchair in the corner. Tony followed, standing in front of him as Steve spoke, “It’s never ending. I knew that. I used to be afraid there would come a time where the world wouldn’t need me anymore. That the war would end and the fighting would stop and everyone would go home. But now, now when that’s what I want more than anything, I’m seeing just how unlikely that is. There will always be another war.”

Tony knelt down before him, taking Steve’s hands. His eyes were soft, “Steve,” he began as Steve’s eyes burned. Tony’s face was pained, squeezing Steve’s hands like he could hold him together by sheer force of will.

“When am I going to get to go home, Tony?” he asked, his eyes spilling over. Tony reached for him as a cry pierced the air. Tony sighed, standing with an apologetic look. Steve shook his head, standing and moving to the crib.

Peter was standing as best he could on bandy legs, his hands on the railing as he wailed. His little face was beet red, his eyes wet as he cried, reaching out a hand. Steve wiped his face and reached for Peter, taking him in his arms and bouncing him a little.

“Hey, kiddo,” he whispered, cupping the back of Peter’s head with a gloved hand. “What’s going on? Something’s got you riled up.” He bounced Peter a little, shushing him as he pressed his wet face to Steve’s neck. “Bad dream?” he asked, rocking him gently. “I get those.”

He could feel Tony’s eyes on him but he focused on his son. Even crying, even screaming bloody murder, it was nice just to hold him. He swayed a little, holding Peter tight to him as he slowly quieted. In his worst moments, Steve wondered if Peter knew who he was. If he thought Steve was another aunt or uncle, around fairly often but not enough to discern that he was Peter’s father. A piece of paper meant nothing to a child.

Peter rubbed at his shoulder, his mouth open as he softly breathed, listening to Steve’s voice. “You’re safe, Peter. Daddy’s here.” He lowered his voice, his eyes clenched tightly shut as he kissed the crown of Peter’s head. “I know I haven’t been around lately. I’m terribly sorry, sweetheart. I’ll try to be around more. I promise.”

When Peter was down for the count, Steve returned him to his crib. Rather reluctantly, he must admit. It was tempting to stay there all night with Peter’s scent in his nose, the sound of his soft breathing as he slept bundled up against Steve’s chest.

Tony was right; they’d known this would be hard but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. He didn’t want to be remembered as Peter’s absent father. The man he saw pictures of but had never gotten the chance to know. Every time he went out in the field, he risked his life. If he was taken out tomorrow, would Peter have any real memories of him?

Tony touched his shoulder, taking his hand and pulling him out of the nursery. He led Steve to their bedroom, closing the door behind them. He yawned and started on the fastenings to Steve’s uniform. Normally, Steve would help but he found himself standing there as Tony methodically took apart the buckles, zippers and buttons. His lashes fluttering as he carefully removed Steve’s utility belt and set it aside.

Sometimes, Steve looked at him and wondered how he’d ever thought Tony to be a selfish man. Tony took care of the people he loved and he did so unfalteringly. He loved harder than anyone Steve had ever met and that was a feat in itself considering Tony described his childhood as a very lonely one. At times, it was overwhelming to be the focus of Tony’s affections. There was no one more dedicated to protecting their family than Tony Stark and somehow Steve had fallen into that category.

Somehow, he’d made Tony love him.

And now, Steve was questioning whether he deserved it.

He stepped out of his boots and watched Tony put them by the closet. Finally, Tony pulled the top of his suit over Steve’s head and pulled at his pants. He left Steve in his briefs before kissing Steve’s left pec and padding over to his side of the bed. Steve swallowed, sitting down on the bed heavily.

“I’m going to talk to Fury,” he said. Tony hummed, sounding half asleep. Or resigned because Steve had said the same thing six times before. “I mean it this time. I’m going to ask for time off. I need to spend some time with my family.”

It was quiet and Steve wondered if Tony had gone to sleep. The bed shifted and Tony said, “You’re a soldier, Steve. It’s what you do.” He pulled Steve down beside him and kissed his cheek. Then he murmured, “We’ll figure it out, babe. We always do.”

+

Steve made a real effort.

Fury gave him a full month off and, while Steve knew SHIELD was stretched thin tracking down Chitauri weapons on the black market and gathering intelligence on up and coming threats, Steve didn’t have it in him to feel too guilty about his time off.

He stayed back and spent his days playing with Peter on the floor, making him lunch and dinner. Tony had breakfast covered, waking every morning before Steve for once and gathering Peter from his room. Steve fell in love with him all over again watching him shuffle sleepily around the kitchen making cereal and oatmeal.

One day, he watched Tony put a bowl of cereal in front of Peter. His hair was a mess, he was drowning in one of Steve’s shirts and a pair of sleep pants long enough to be Steve’s, as well. Steve felt his chest tighten as he crossed behind Tony and kissed his neck.

Tony laughed, touching his cheek. “What was that for?”

Steve kissed his cheek, “I love you.”

Tony warmed, kissing Steve’s lips. “I love you, too. Is this a new realization for you? Should I be worried?” Steve kissed him again and tugged on the hem of his shirt.

“This is mine.” Tony shrugged uncaringly, fixing himself a bowl of cereal.

“What’s yours is mine. It was in the vows, remember?” he asked as Steve nuzzled his throat.

“I like you in my clothes,” he murmured lowly and Tony stiffened ever so slightly.

“You do?” he asked innocently and Steve watched his cheeks warm. He nodded, watching Tony’s eyes darken before he cleared his throat, “You gonna remember that tonight when little ears aren’t listening?”

Steve nodded, nosing into Tony’s neck once more. “Oh, come on. People are eating,” Rhodey said, tossing a dishtowel at Steve’s face. He laughed, pulling away from his husband as Rhodey sat next to Peter and stole his bowl.

He pretended to take a bite, earning a laugh from Peter and a loud, “No! No, Unca Woadie!” before Rhodey handed it back. Peter beamed at him and picked up his spoon.

“Literally taking food from babies,” Tony said, shuffling over and kissing Peter’s cheek. He jokingly laid a smack on Rhodey’s, as well, earning a cheeky grin.

“Peter’s not like you,” Rhodey said, sticking his tongue out. “He shares.”

“What’s mine is yours, Sugar Pie,” Tony said, pouring a cup of coffee.

“Everything?” Steve asked and Rhodey gave him a teasing wink. Steve shook his head fondly, grabbing the mug Tony offered him. He started to say more when Peter dropped his spoon on the floor.

“Damn it,” Peter said and Steve froze, turning around slowly. He must’ve misheard. “Damn it!” Peter cheered and Steve’s cheeks went warm.

Tony rushed forward, “Where did he learn that?” he asked, picking up the spoon and washing it in the sink. He looked over as Steve tried to subtly escape from the room. “Steve!”

He set his mug down with a wince. “It was an accident. I thought he forgot,” he said as Peter continued cheering “Damn it” from his high chair. “It won’t happen again.”

“You bet it won’t. No more swearing,” he said. Rhodey laughed and Tony turned on him. “From anyone. No more swearing around my kid.”

Steve gaped at him but he knew when Tony was serious. And it wasn’t hard to understand his reasoning seeing as Peter had made a song out of “damn it” and used his spoon to add percussion. Steve shuffled over and ran a hand over Peter’s curls.

“Hey, buddy, we can’t use that kind of language, okay?” Peter gave him a cheerful grin and Steve returned it. Then he started singing again. Sighing, Steve nodded, “No more swearing.”

+

It had been nice having Steve around more.

Tony had been reluctant to admit that because he’d known it wouldn’t last. Not for long. After Steve’s month off, he’d returned to work. Tony returned to taking care of Peter on his own most days. If someone had told him ten years ago that he’d be a married stay at home dad, he would have laughed in their face.

Now, he stood in front of a sink trying to get strawberry juice out of Peter’s white t-shirt. He wasn’t unhappy, honest he wasn’t. He liked spending his days inventing and he loved spending time with Peter. He loved that his son knew he could count on him for anything. It had taken quite a while but Tony felt like a father now.

And he was doing it alone.

He wasn’t resentful. That wasn’t the word he’d use but it had certainly been hard. On days when Pepper needed an answer from him on some upgrade or add on to the Starkphone and he’d been up late because Peter spent the night screaming bloody murder any time he tried to set him down in his crib. When he wanted nothing more than to sleep or go out and do something other than watch Peter play on the floor and he couldn’t because this was a full-time job. He loved his son but sometimes, he really wanted to be a part of the outside world.

Pepper had suggested a nanny once and she’d been quite surprised at how adamantly Tony refused. He was still learning who Peter was and he didn’t want to hand him off to a stranger. Sometimes Rhodey dropped by and he’d take Peter for a bit. Once or twice, Happy had taken Peter to the park. Pepper dropped by but she didn’t seem that inclined to take care of Peter on her own. She was Aunt “Peppa” regardless.

Tony was most relaxed when everyone was home. It was a rarity and Clint and Thor often dropped in before disappearing but it was nice having everyone in the Tower. Tony could stop feeling like everything was weighing on his shoulders. One night, he’d spent hours just trying to get Peter to sleep, all the while knowing he had a teleconference with the R & D department at eight AM. Night’s like this where he’d like to ask Steve to put Peter to bed but he couldn’t because Steve was half way around the world.

The nights where he wanted to call Steve and tell him he hadn’t signed on to do this alone. That they’d split home and work but Steve had promised to try. Tony couldn’t do this alone. He was just one person and ill equipped at that. On this night, he’d held Peter close, his eyes wet as he willed himself not to cry in front of his son.

It was cyclical. Those nights would pass and Steve would return. Tony would paste on a smile and pretend everything was effortless. He watched Steve drop his shield by the door and scooped Peter into his arms. He raised his son above his head, his smile bright and warm.

“Hey, kiddo! Did you miss me?” he asked. Peter cheered and tried to reach Steve with his short arms. Steve pulled him close and kissed his cheeks, smiling wider at Peter’s giggling. He turned to Tony, his eyes softening. “I missed you.”

Tony smiled, even as his eyes warmed. “I missed you, too.”

 

 

Peter followed Steve around like a little duckling.

He wanted to do everything Steve did. If Steve brushed his teeth, Peter had to brush his. If Steve was wearing a white shirt and jeans, Peter had to wear a white shirt and jeans. If Steve kissed Tony’s cheek, Peter had to kiss his cheek, too. It was ridiculously adorable, even as it left Tony wondering why Peter never mimicked him.

“I mean, I’m here all the time,” Tony whined, watching Peter shovel cereal in his mouth in his high chair. Steve laughed, eating his own cereal.

“I’m not here as much,” Steve explained. He grabbed a napkin and wiped up some milk that dribbled out of Peter’s mouth. “At least he trusts the food you give him.”

Tony hid a smile. Steve was gorgeous but he’d never mastered the culinary arts. Tony had never seen someone that managed to burn oatmeal and tried to feed their son the blandest of cereals. “You’ll get there.”

Peter tried to feed Tony some of his cereal and Tony smiled, humoring him. It was soggy and overladen with milk but it was the thought that counted. Steve laughed at him, a little less when Peter offered him the same. Tony kissed Peter’s head with a smile, “He’s a sweet kid. He gets that from you.”

Steve shook his head, replying easily, “He gets that from you.”  

Tony braced himself, averting his eyes to his mug of coffee as he asked, “So, how long do we get you this time?”

Steve swirled his cereal around for a moment before he replied, “Three days. Then they’re sending me off to D.C.” He waited and Tony could feel his eyes on him but he couldn’t bring himself to look up. “Tony, look, I can ask for time off but it was a miracle I got the month last time. I’m trying to earn enough so I can take off for Pete’s birthday.”

“You don’t work a full-time job, Steve,” Tony muttered. “It isn’t like you punch in a time card and you get a set number of PTO days. If they need you, they’ll call you. It doesn’t matter what I need or what your son needs.” He set his mug down and stood up, covering his eyes. “I need a minute.”

“Tony,” Steve called out and Peter echoed him. Tony left the room and tried to will himself to calm down. He slipped down to the lab and didn’t come up for a few hours.

When he returned, Clint was conked out on the couch with Peter asleep on a blanket on the floor. Bruce sat in an armchair with a book in hand. “Which one are you babysitting?” Tony asked.

Bruce didn’t look up, “Both. Steve’s looking for you.”

Tony nodded, some of his tension returning as he headed to their bedroom. Steve was sitting on the bed reading through something on his tablet. Probably case files, Tony assumed. He closed the door behind him as Steve set the tablet on the bedside table. They stared at each other silently for a moment before Steve pet the space beside him and said, “Come here.”

Tony hesitated, tapping his foot for a moment as before he complied. He lied down beside Steve who immediately pulled him closer, laying Tony’s head on his chest. He stroked his back soothingly, enough that Tony felt some his tension leave his body.

“You want to tell me what that was about?” Steve asked, after some time.

Tony sighed, “Not particularly.”

“Tony, I can’t fix it if you don’t talk to me.”

“You can’t fix it at all,” Tony replied. “It’s hard, Steve. I make it look easy, I don’t complain or tell you when I’m overwhelmed because I know you’re doing the best you can. But sometimes, I feel like I can’t do this and then I get angry and then I feel bad for being angry because I love my son. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. There are single moms that can’t spend as much time with their kids as they’d like because they have to work to support their families and I get that; I get how lucky I am that I can stay home and I don’t have to worry about that. But then those really bad days come and I don’t care. I want to sleep. I want a drink. I just want time to myself. I want to be alone and I don’t want to take care of anyone else. And I feel like a bad dad. I feel like my dad. I just… it’s hard.”

The room was quiet, Steve still beneath him. Tony realized his cheeks were wet and he wiped at his face. Steve took up stroking his back once more, clearing his throat, “You’ve been holding that in for a while, huh?” Tony sat up, looking Steve in the eye. His brow was furrowed, eyes pained as he chose his words carefully. “Don’t ever feel like you can’t tell me things because you’re worried I won’t take it well. I’d rather feel like the worst husband in the world for a little while than have you keep everything inside until you explode.”

Tony held his gaze and nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“And you’re not a bad dad, Tony. You’re the best dad in the world,” he said wondrously, raising Tony’s chin as he tried to lower his eyes. “Hey, I’m proud of what you’ve done here. That kid thinks the world of you. When you’re not around, he asks about you constantly. This house is full of pictures of the two of you.”

Tony smiled, his eyes spilling over as Steve added, “And I’m not in them.” He smooths his thumb over Tony’s wet cheek. “You’re doing all the heavy lifting and I don’t know how hard that is. And I’m sorry.”

Tony lay back down, closing his eyes as Steve stroked his back. “You’re only here for three days. I feel like we should be naked right now.”

Steve huffed out a laugh, his chest shaking beneath Tony’s cheek. “There’s milk stains on the back of my shirt because our son shoved cereal down there. I’m jetlagged and a little low on self-esteem right now. This is the least sexy I’ve ever felt.”

Tony hummed in response and Steve added, “The door locked?” Tony nodded, sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head.

+

When they get a hold of Loki’s scepter, Tony made sure he secured some time alone with it.

It was a miracle he’d managed to stay calm considering his hands hadn’t stopped shaking since he’d been in Stryker’s lab. Some sort of magic was at play, he knew that but it didn’t change the startling fear he’d felt. The devastation at seeing his team, his friends, his husband and child lying dead and glassy eyed before him. To kneel beside his son and know he hadn’t done everything he could.

There was a plan. An idea, really. It had started in efforts to lessen the need for the Avengers but he’d worked on it harder recently. Seeing how hard this job weighed on Steve hadn’t been easy. They’d agreed one of them should take a backseat, to stay home and take care of Peter but that hadn’t made it any easier for Tony to hang back. To watch his husband return time and time again to the field and pray his luck wouldn’t run out this time.

If all went well, if Tony pulled this off, Steve could stay home with his family more often. The Avengers could retire and take some time for themselves. Natasha could chase that fuzzy photo she kept in her utility belt. Bruce could work things out with Betty. Thor could spend more time with Jane.

Steve and Tony could be boring, domestic dads and take care of their son. Peter could have two full time parents.

There was a lot riding on this. If Tony succeeded, the world would have a defense against the oncoming war. Tony had seen space; he’d seen the overwhelming darkness and he knew what awaited them. Loki’s army had just been the beginning. There was something bigger out there and Tony would have to be ready for it. He would be damned if he lost his son because he hadn’t explored every option.

Now, Steve ran a hand down Tony’s back and kissed his cheek. Surprising considering Steve usually kept all displays affection to a minimum around the team. Perhaps he’d loosened up because they were throwing a party at the tower. Tony was excited; it would be nice to have a long conversation with someone over the age of two.

“You okay?” Steve asked, studying him quietly. “You seem a little shaken up.”

Tony smiled, scratching at his brow. “Yeah, just can’t believe we finally found it, you know?” he asked and Steve nodded.

Tony could tell him. He’d thought about telling Steve for the past year. Every time he came close, he clammed up. Steve wanted time off. He wanted to be with his family but Tony knew better than to think he’d readily accept Tony’s idea for a safety net. He had begrudgingly accepted the Iron Legion. Steve was wary of all of Tony’s AI’s, save Dum-E because he was harmless and JARVIS because he kept a close eye on their son. If Tony told Steve about his plans for the scepter, he’d shut Tony down without giving him a chance to explain.

No, better Tony keep this under wraps until he had something tangible to show for it.

“Let’s talk about the party,” Steve said, leaning in closer. “Sam had graciously offered to spend some time taking care of his godson.”

“Probably thinks it’ll give him an in with Hill,” Tony replied and Steve smiled at him fondly. “What?”

“Maybe but do you see where I’m going with this?” he asked, his gaze darkening. He licked his lips, his tone low and tantalizing, “We’ll have a night to ourselves.”

Tony warmed, leaning in closer, “Steve, did you pawn our kid off so you could get lucky tonight?”

“Maybe,” Steve said, eyes hooded. “I’ve missed this.”

Their lips touched, the rest of the plane falling away as Tony closed his eyes and tried not to get carried away thinking about their evening. When Steve pulled back, his breathing was a little labored. Tony licked his lips, eying Steve’s mouth before dragging his eyes back to his face.

“Tell Wing Boy I owe him one.”  

The party was in full swing. Altogether, the team knew more normal folks than Tony would have guessed. Steve’s friends from the USO Lodge were here and it would never stop being weird to look at men in their 70s and know that’s what Steve would look like had he not gone through Erskine’s treatment. Sam was here, as were Maria, Helen Cho and quite a few people from SHIELD.

Peter was going crazy, climbing over Steve’s shoulders to try to get a look at everyone. His chubby palms covered Steve’s eyes as he stood and Steve hurried to hold him still, laughing softly. Tony’s heart warmed watching Steve introduce him to everyone. Tony loved his family.

He was doing this for his family.

He kissed Steve’s cheek and let Peter cover him in sloppy kisses before he snuck his way down to the lab. After several unsuccessful trials, he was about ready to give up on this project. He’d come down to make sure everything was set to return the scepter to Thor. He’d made a promise and if he hadn’t succeeded by now, he never would.

Maybe it was for the best because he’d felt terrible lying to his husband.

Sighing, he turned the lights out and returned to the party, plastering a smile on his face.

Things passed rather quickly. Sam snatched Peter from Steve’s shoulders with a grin and covered his face with kisses. Peter squealed with glee, laughing hysterically as Sam tossed him in the air a few times. Tony made to go after them but Steve stopped him.

“He ate his weight in appetizers. Steve, he’s going to be sick.”

“He’ll be fine. And if he pukes on Sam, Sam probably deserved it,” he said with a laugh and Tony sighed, watching them disappear down the hall.

Steve took his hand and started backing away from the crowd. “This was great, guys. So nice to see all of you. We had a great time but we’re gonna turn in,” he said and Clint scoffed.

“Translation: they’re going to Bone Town.” He twirled a drumstick around his fingers and leered at them as Steve blushed beet red. Rhodey shook his head as the others laughed. “Godspeed, gentlemen.”

Steve started to reply but Tony pushed him down the hall. “Come on, Captain Cutie Pie.”

The door closed to their room and Tony found his back against the door. Steve’s lips met his, his hands on Tony’s face as he slid his tongue in, quick and dirty. Tony groaned, pulling Steve’s shirt free of his pants. It had been months since they’d touched each other. And even then, it had been a rather hasty hand job in bed before Steve had to get ready to leave for London.

Steve groaned, sliding Tony’s blazer off and hauling him up into his arms. Tony’s world tilted briefly and he laughed, holding onto Steve’s shoulders as his legs crossed behind Steve’s back. “There’s a perfectly nice bed behind you, soldier.”

Steve shrugged, his lips brushing over the curve of Tony’s neck and he rolled his hips forward. Tony moaned, head falling back into the door with a quiet thud. “Gotta get these off,” Steve murmured, his fingers clumsily reaching for the buttons on Tony’s vest.

Tony pushed them off, remembering what happened the last time Steve couldn’t get his clothes off fast enough. Pepper would kill him if he let Steve rip another Versace vest to pieces. He started at the buttons but it was hard to focus with Steve rolling his hips against his insistently. Tony got the vest off with a shuddering moan and started on the shirt.

Steve nipped at his throat, his large hands on Tony’s hips as he rutted against him. God, were it not for them not wanting to waste their night alone, Tony would be tempted to just get off this way. He was close, embarrassingly so considering they hadn’t even touched each other bare but it had been a long time since they’d touched each other at all. Even over the clothes, Tony was struggling to keep a clear head.

Steve was murmuring his name insistently, his hands tightening on Tony’s hips and he was close, seconds away. Tony opened his eyes to see Steve’s face flushed, his lip caught between his teeth and he pushed against him. God, Tony loved this man. He touched Steve’s neck, helping him along and rocking with his rhythm.

Steve bit down a whine, snapping his hips forward as Tony murmured, “So close, baby.”

And there was a loud crash.

Steve nearly didn’t hear it, sliding against him when Tony stiffened, listening past the sounds of their hushed breathing. The unmistakable sound of gunshots and shouts down below. Tony pushed at Steve’s shoulders and Steve carefully dropped him down. His cheeks were flushed but he was all business.

“Stay here,” he commanded, opening the door carefully.

Tony started to follow when Sam appeared in the hall, his face stern. It looked a little odd with a crying infant in his arms. With his heightened senses, Peter must’ve heard everything downstairs at an even louder volume. Tony took him and held him close.

“I’m sorry, little guy.” He looked to Steve who kissed Peter’s head and Tony’s cheek. “Go. We’ll be okay.”

He sat down in the far corner of the bedroom, close to the safe room. Tony wasn’t crazy. The moment they’d adopted Peter, he made sure the nursery and the master bedroom were equipped with safe rooms. As soon as Peter was old enough, he’d make sure to teach Peter how to enter them.

It wasn’t easy sitting there waiting to hear about what was going on. He had the monitors but he was terrified of scaring Peter even worse. It had taken ten minutes to get him settled and another fifteen for him to stop clinging to Tony like he’d be taken away at any moment. Tony rocked him gently, singing whatever he could decently remember at the moment as he waited.

Finally, the door opened and Steve entered, his face thunderous and angry. Sam appeared behind him, his face neutral. Tony stood, holding tight to Peter as he reached for his other father. Steve’s face remained hard, raising something in his hand. Tony stared at it in confusion.

“Is that… is that one of my Iron Legion bots?” He moved in closer as Steve raised the detached head, wires tangled below. “What happened?”

“Sam, can you take Peter?” Steve asked and Tony’s blood chilled. He can’t remember the last time he’d heard Steve use that tone and he’d certainly never used it on Tony. Sam marched forward and reached out for Peter.

Peter seemed to sense something was wrong and clung to Tony tighter than ever. “No!” he screamed, his sort nails catching on Tony’s hands as he handed him over, eyes on his husband. He spared Peter a small smile.

“It’s okay, buddy. We’re just going to talk.” His eyes returned to Steve’s steely blues and he swallowed. _Or fight._ It had been a while since they’d argued and Tony certainly hadn’t missed it.

Sam left the room and Tony steeled himself. “What happened?”

Steve tossed the head down and strode forward, his eyes glinting. “That thing you made put himself together in your lab.”

“What thing?” Tony asked, icy fear chilling his bones.

“Ultron. Your creation,” he said. “Ringing any bells?”

Tony gaped at him, his heart starting to beat faster. _It worked?_ “Steve, I didn’t – that wasn’t the plan.”

It was the wrong thing to say, apparently. Steve’s eyes narrowed and he shouted, “You created that monster. In our home!”

_How did this happen?_ He was torn between trying to explain himself and asking, once again, what the hell happened down there where the door opened and Nat poked her head in. Her hair was pristine as ever, leaving Tony to wonder how serious the fight had been.

“We have a lead in Johannesburg,” she said and Steve sighed.

“I’ll-“

“Stay here,” Steve said.

“The hell I will. It’s not safe,” he said. Steve’s eyes darkened and he crossed his arms. “You know I’m right.”

“Do I?” Steve asked, his eyes narrowed. He moved in closer, his body tense. “That thing talked about you. He _hates_ you. He hates us. How could you create something like that?”

Tony froze, taking in Steve’s rage and finding nothing to offer by way of response. “I don’t know.” He covered his face and took a deep breath, looking to Natasha. “Look, we’ll pack. I’ll… I’ll figure something out but I can’t stay here with Peter. It’s not safe.”

+

After Johannesburg, the ride to Clint’s was a somber one.

Steve sat in the back, forgoing their fight long enough to hold Tony and Peter. Tony asked what he’d seen but Steve refuse to answer him. If it was anything like what Tony had seen, he understood. Peter didn’t seem to understand what was happening, reaching up to touch his father’s cheeks with his chubby palms. He tried to pull Steve’s face into a smile and Steve humored him for a moment. Stroking his thumb over Peter’s cheek and resting his cheek on the top of Tony’s head.

Tony wasn’t stupid; he knew this wasn’t all it would take for Steve to forgive him. He knew the others were giving him wide berth and, from the way Thor kept shooting him dirty looks, they were angry, as well. Tony hadn’t made it alone but Bruce was having a hard enough time right now. Whenever Tony thought about what that witch had done to his friend, he wanted to hunt her down himself.

But he had a family to take care of.

Peter rested his head on Tony’s chest, his breathing slowing as Tony rested against Steve’s chest. It was a tight squeeze in the back of the plane but they made do. Steve’s soft breathing in his ear, his hand on Peter’s back as he held the three of them together. It was a nice respite from the fighting but Tony would like to know what Steve had seen. Tony saw that haunted look on his face, reached for him and Steve held him tight enough to crack bones. Whatever he’d seen, it was bad and it had stayed with him.

Clint drops the plane down near a farm. As much as Steve and Thor wanted to ask Clint five hundred questions about how he’d managed to hide a family of three from them, it was late and they were exhausted. Laura grabbed one of her kids’ old beds from the barn and cleaned it up. Kindness aside, Tony wasn’t letting his son out of his sight for the time being.

He took the last shower, leaving Peter with Steve as he did. When he returned, Peter was conked out on Steve’s chest, drooling a little. Steve was fast asleep, his mouth open, a hand secure on Peter’s back. Tony smiled, lying down beside them. They’d post-poned their fight but Tony was stupid enough to believe Steve wouldn’t talk about it the first chance he got.

 

 

The next morning, they sat down for breakfast. Lila immediately snatched Peter from Tony’s arms and refused to let him go. Peter didn’t have any complaints, happy to sit back and let Cooper feed him a banana. When Laura complained of needing more firewood, Steve volunteered Tony to help. Tony followed him out, bracing himself for the inevitable argument.

They gather the wood silently, Steve’s mouth a firm line. Tony watched and waited, wondering if Steve would finally give him a chance to say his piece. The thing is, Tony doesn’t understand how this happened. Bruce didn’t either. They’d worked on that code tirelessly, all the while implanting every safeguard they could to make sure they wouldn’t’ have a Skynet situation. Tony wasn’t stupid; he knew the risks. He’d thought the benefits outweighed the costs but the costs seemed rather inconsequential when they hadn’t even been able to get the damn thing off the ground.

And he’d lost JARVIS in the process. JARVIS who’d been beside Tony since before he’d become Iron Man. His tribute to his oldest friend and now he was gone. Steve had considered it a blessing they hadn’t lost anyone but Tony had. He could try backups but it wouldn’t’ be the same. His JARVIS was lost to him forever.

And now, with added help from the witch and the speedster, Johannesburg was grieving. And Bruce was huddled in a room inside trying to handle being used yet again to harm innocent people. They’d caused so much pain and as much as Tony understood Steve’s anger with him, he’d much rather be out there making sure the twins didn’t have a chance to do even more harm.

Steve set the piles out and grabbed an axe. He gestured for Tony to do the same and got to work. His mood aside, Tony had to admit Steve looked unfairly desirable right now. His shirt clung to him in all the right places, his biceps bulging as he cut the wood apart. They’d been working for over an hour and Steve hadn’t broken a sweat.

Finally, Steve tossed his blocks aside and asked, “You wanna tell me what the hell you were thinking back there?”

Tony froze, setting his axe down. “You gonna listen to me this time?”

“You going to tell me the truth?” Steve asked, setting his axe down. He turned to face Tony head on, his arms crossed. “You seem to have trouble with that, lately.”

“Steve,” Tony began, his temper starting to flare. “Don’t start with that crap.”

“You seem to have trouble with that lately,” Steve repeated a little louder, his eyes flashing.

“I’d tell you the truth if you were ever here,” Tony said bitingly and Steve froze, his mouth a hard line. “Take shots at me, go ahead. I screwed up. I know that, but don’t act like this is just another strike against me.”

“You created-“

“Yeah, I did but you’re acting like I never changed. Like – like I’m still the same guy you fought with the first time we met!” he shouted. “I’d think four years of marriage had earned me the benefit of the doubt! That you’d at least listen to me!”

“I am listening!” Steve shouted and Tony bit off a scream of frustration.

“No, you’re not! Every time I try to explain, you try to get a rise out of me.” Steve glared at him silently, waiting and Tony went on. “I was trying to build a – a suit of armor around the world. We can’t be everywhere at once and I wanted to make something that could.”

“You thought an AI would do that?” He shook his head, “And you hid this from us. You stole the scepter to make that –that _thing._ ”

“There is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my family. Nothing,” Tony hissed and Steve’s eyes went wide with horror. The honesty he saw in Tony’s eyes, the quirk of his mouth: Tony was serious. He meant this.

“Including lie to me?” Steve asked and the horror twists Tony’s stomach as he realizes the crux of this argument isn’t that Tony and Bruce had created this murderous robot. It wasn’t that he’d conspired with Bruce to do it. Steve was upset because Tony had lied to him.

His hands came down as he said, “You would have stopped me.”

“Exactly! That’s what I’m here for. To tell you when you’re wrong! To - to listen to you when you come up with ideas like this and tell you that they’re crazy-“

“Not because you love me?” Tony asked, his voice low and cutting. Steve’s eyes widened in pain and Tony laughed humorlessly. “Silly me, I thought you married me because you cared about me; not to control me.”

“Tony,” Steve began and he stepped forward, reaching out but Tony moved further back.

Tony’s mouth twisted as he muttered, “You know what, I don’t care. Maybe this was all some twisted power play, some strangely elaborate strategy to get me to behave and I wouldn’t blame you. I was a real handful.” He looked up, his eyes warm. “I don’t care, I still care about you and that kid up there. I did what I had to do to try to keep the both of you safe and it went sideways, the way everything in my life seems to go. But you wanted an explanation. You got one.”

He made to leave but Steve snagged his arm. “You don’t walk out on me,” he said quietly but Tony won’t look at him. “Marriage is about compromise. If I were to do something you thought was stupid, I’d want you to tell me. That’s all I meant. You’re my compass. I thought I was yours.”

Tony looked at him them, his eyes guarded but he wasn’t trying to leave anymore. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

Steve held his gaze for a moment and then nodded, pulling Tony into his arms. Tony stiffened and then relaxed into his grip, nosing into Steve’s neck. Steve’s voice was soft as he said, “We’ll fix this together.”

+

With Ultron out of the picture, they returned to the Tower.

Tony started working on blueprints for a new headquarters. Destruction aside, it was hard for Tony to walk the halls without JARVIS overhead. They stayed just long enough to pack up their essentials and Steve moved them to an apartment in Brooklyn. It was a penthouse, one Steve couldn’t bear to know the price of, but it was closer to Steve’s home turf. It was nice to be back for the moment.

He watched Peter chase Tony around the empty living room and smiled, leaning against the wall. With Fury on the lamb and Maria working for Tony at Stark Industries, Steve was in a unique position. With Natasha’s help, he chose the battles and he made the strategies. Tony was back on reserve status and Rhodey was back on the team.

The roster wasn’t quite what Steve thought it would be but it was ever changing. Last year, Thor and Bruce had been the heavy hitters but they were gone now. Thor had returned home to see about his people and Hulk had gone somewhere no one was quite sure of. Steve had watched their team evolve over time and he wondered if there would come a time when he would hang up the shield and retire.

It used to scare him but now… it didn’t seem so bad.

Peter barreled into his legs with a loud battle cry and Steve laughed, dropping down to pick him up. Peter beamed down at him, reaching out with grabby hands. Steve held him close and smothered him with kisses, the sounds of his laughter bringing a bright grin to Steve’s face. Tony moved in closer, a soft smile on his face. He pulled Steve into a hug, careful of Peter down below.

“Steve, about Ultron, I can’t say enough how sorry I am.”

Steve nodded, pulling back to kiss his forehead and then his lips. “I know.” Tony started to say more but Steve added, “Believe me, I know. I forgive you.”

Tony rested his head against Steve’s chin and murmured, “I’m so lucky you tell me everything.”

Steve froze, his heart skipping a beat. Swallowing thickly, he held Tony tighter to his chest.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on [ tumblr](https://capn-shellhead.tumblr.com)


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